Jesus sent me two of his nubile minions last week.

On what seemed to be like any other ordinary day at the store, two cute girls walked into the store. Could have been customers, we were nice and then somehow the conversation was rotating around religion, I suggested they go to Pota in Kerala which seems to have a mass brainwashing center, they were almost rubbing their hands in glee. (In most cases we firmly believe talk about religion, politics and sports should be best avoided – totally pointless conversations). Then one of the girls dropped a bomb.

Can we pray for you???

the adoration of the Magi

the adoration of the Magi

See the thing with religion is it basically divides and leaders are well for lack of a better words assholes, ALL religions included.

Do you know anyone who has a headache? Or is in pain, we will pray for them.

My colleague who was silent the whole time when the girls were tag-team pimping their Jesus monologues broke his silence and asked the girls if they cover hangovers.

AHEM, err, no.

Well then in that case, I have a relative who is a cloistered nun and had a bone issue because of a vitamin deficiency, she saw a specialist and is on the road to recovery thanks to Science and for prayers she is kind of covered.

Being brought up as a catholic and being big on guilt, I told the girls about a couple of friends who were caught preaching and were put through some serious duress, jail time, court case three years. Do not go preaching, do something productive instead, volunteer with an organization that is helping society, be the change and stop talking about religion, preachers from the west coming to sell religion is so 18th century (its time to sell our shiz – world yoga day ring a bell?) I said they could pray for the store if they wanted.

They did out loud and I thought it was really cute, Jesus’s girls caring enough for an agnostic book store.

Before the Amen they said they asked Jesus to get us more customers to bring us second hand books (aww warm fuzzy feeling).

We asked the girls to bring books to trade or sell, only NO BOOKS ON RELIGION PLEASE! (smile).

p.s. As with everything in life there is some sort of balance, do not ask me how(I am a fucking agnostic) Satan sent me two of his nubile minions asking for a Satanic bible (Seriously, no kidding. While giving a quote we mentioned that we recommend they read Dawkin’s God Delusion) Oh how I wish I had a contact number for the Jesus minions, would arrange both the sets of minions to come to the store at the same time and introduce them to each other, while I would probably be eating popcorn, silently observing the festivities unfolding.

mj-popcorn

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