No time to read.

Working in a book store has its joys.

One of them is having to listen to peoples lame ass bullshit excuses – I really have no time to read, work, kids, wife, girlfriend, baby, commute…. blah, blah, I think I have heard it all. Then to look them in their lying eyes. Most actually believe their lame sob stories.

Hah.

Carrying a book is the first step for recovery from “no time to read” zombie-land denial – May the force be with you (hey this line is popular these days 😛 Click here if you did not get the pun)

Realizing that by not reading you are limiting your self to what you currently “know” or are exposed to – mass media, popular culture or the coffee/chai/cigarette/water cooler(who the fuck has a water cooler?) gossip.

You could be at the cusp of a  gargantuan change in your life.

With every passing moment of reading, you are a little less ignorant from what little you knew before. Trust me on this, one all those know it alls – do not know shit.

There is soo much you do not know and reading my friends will set you free from your self imposed exile from edification.

Yes, a lot of big words will drop of your tongue like the cum juice of your lover when you are done going down on them.

You will look forward to time found, your morning dump, lines, traffic, waiting rooms, your coffee break, lunch with a sandwich and a book.

You might meet another reader, probably a fiery nerdy bomb.

The first sign will be a book, with a reader.

Waiting for someone, waiting for a message, waiting for a call, waiting for a decision.

Fret not, you have a fucking book, or two – read dammit.

No more sighing, no more longing puppy eyes, no more tapping your feet, no more obsessing about that damn smart phone, you have a book – read it.

It may be more socially acceptable to check your phone or message someone – fuck that shit, read.

Want to catch up on that bloody expensive “collectable” indrajal that you just bought, read it while you are banging your partner doggystyle. The phantoms punches will never seem so lame, ever again.

Phantom riding a white horsie

Phantom, riding, white horse, doggy, style rainbows for background.

Think about it, if you meet someone really nasty you can plain and simple spank them with your paperback(hardbacks work better) using an object tends to be a little more disconnected than say a hand (your cheating ass might be able to get away with an uh-i slipped and fell on my ass today, haha).

The key is you need to be carrying it at all times.

Have the magical power to escape anywhere, anytime, especially when you have loads of time to kill.

In a tropical country? Got the runns? Your book will come to your rescue even in the most remote places.

You will look forward to those few minutes while liquid erupts out of your asshole.

When you are done and have no water to wash the remnants of the deluge, fret not, tear out a page of what you have just read and re-use the printed word, try and do that with an e-book.

Time to read, dammit.

Time to read bitches.

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